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Current Music:hello goodbye
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Subject:hello goodbye
Time:05:50 pm
Current Mood:anxiousanxious
i havent updated in a while, so this is my update. dont get me wrong, i love my livejournal, its so pretty(to me), its just that everybody is on myspace and so livejournal got kinda pushed aside. my poor little lj, all alone, so neglected- i still love you!
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Current Music:The Rasmus: Whatever i do
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Subject:whatever i do
Time:10:20 am
Current Mood:annoyedannoyed
i've tried and i've tried. but you only push me away. you say i dont care. you think everybody hates you- because you want everybody to hate you. always a fucking tragedy with you. if you want it so bad, then fucking say something. friends dont look for a reason to despise you, but friends cant read your fucking mind either. you isolate yourself, so I feel isolated. why cant you see that? friendships are two way routes. two people need to open themselves to each other in order to make it work. i know you wont listen. youll say stop fucking lecturing me. then stop listening if you dont like it. and ill stop listening too. why should i listen when you deny everything i say? you think everybody around should change, except you. becuase your perfect. you built a perfect wall so know one will see how you cry because you dont know why people come near you. how can you expect me to care about your needs and wants when you dont care for mine?
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Current Music:Gazz: crawl
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Subject: how kind of you, replied the little penguin, some tea would be delightful
Time:10:31 pm
Current Mood:blahblah
i feel like blogging but sadly i have nothing to say. so ill juss blab. its interesting to watch people creating thier own little dramas and tradegies, not on paper, but in their heads. ever notice that? juss sit back and try to relax, really listen to people and observe wat they do and how they react to certain situations and you start to notice things about them that you never thought you would uncover. now, you prolly already knew that, but i mean i dunno. people constanty fall in love with the idea of something, but dunt necessarily like that something or someone as much as they like the idea of it. anyone whos reading this- dunt take it personally- im juss expressing my opinions.

this is kinda random, but lately ive been craving to go scuba diving again, i wanna go to catalina island and dive in the wrecks, ah that would kick ass....
ive also been realllllllllllly craving to go to a keane concert- why i dunt kno- i can juss imagine it, it would be such a mellow and calm concert, that would be lovely- a shins concert would kick ass too...

i came home today to find my cats puff ball toy-encrusted with catfood-on my bed, loverly, thank you my kitty....hmmm im being quite weird right now i think there something was in the water i juss drank...ok imma stop before i start getting even wierder- yes that is possible
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Current Music:Keane: somewhere only we know
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Subject:to the 160,000 and anyone else who wants it
Time:09:04 pm
Current Mood:pensivepensive
We've had enough. Thats right, point the finger and never accept the blame. If i held my breath would you ask me to drown? but im still breathing. sweet pandemonium. wat if everything and every place and everyone you ever knew were devoured by the shadows? or worse had never been in the first place? swept away. the water on my skin is starting to freeze, but my mind and soul are on fire. enough. you wont extend your invitation of peace to a people dying just like you. three words and a question why. to a blind and deaf soul. uplift me. create me. leave me. easy open. close the door on her fingers, make her bleed. rip open her soul. see what makes her tick. whats she thinking? the collision of two worlds, two states of conscienceness, but the distance remains the same. walk it. shes waiting. its begun. can you hear the wispers? can you hear the cries? can you hear the screams? join in. no one will hear you. pestilent scent, crawling down your throat and suffocating your lungs. swarming your body. burning your eyes. crushing your heart. tearing at your soul. the numbers are strong but the smell is stronger. as if you have a choice. juss let it breathe. sinking fast. digging this trench to bury my heart, i wont need it any more. rock bottom's where we are, but we keep digging. falling into insanity. things in your chest you need to confess. creating your own private tragedies. go to the beginning to get to the end, where youll figure out the real from pretend.
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Subject:hi
Time:10:09 pm
Current Mood:sleepysleepy
iv been updating my myspace more often, i usu update my lj when i feel the need to retreat to the back of my mind, since my lj seems more private...
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Current Music:The Beatles: Eleanor Rigby
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Subject:life
Time:05:20 pm
Current Mood:pensivepensive
another day wasted in paradise. nevermind the stories they tell you. nevermind the burning memories. your heart has become so numb and so dry it crumbles in my hand. up in flames burning into obsurity. look any way you wish there is only one way to go, whichever you choose. listless you becomes as your mind hardens. a century ago you would not have cared. i hear your screams beneath my pillow. i hear your cries in the room above. sleeping forever waiting for change. drinking your cup of wealth. fall into the trap of deciet of false securities based on beauty and shame. seek me in your nightmares. if giving up my voice is the price i must pay for acceptance then throw me in the flames, bury me with the worms. i am yours to mold and to keep. do with me what you wish but you cannot touch me with your lies. i am at war with you.
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Current Music:The Used: Take it Away
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Subject:islove
Time:05:56 pm
Current Mood:boredbored
im addicted to that islove thing(look on my profile)... ahhh the amazon, thats one place i must go before i die. lol...it took me a while but i juss figured out that the islove gets the "blank is love" from my interests(i figured that out after i got lauri). god if i were any more of a nerd id be napoleon dynamite(lame joke ignore it).im being quite weird, ive been quite weird all this week, prolly cuz im bored outta my fricken mind, i love that we have no school, but im juss bored cuz i have no where to go, nothing to do, my mind. the colors duke the colors! (no im not high- yes i swear) i got a myspace but only cuz they wouldnt let me "see more pics" without being a member, so wtf i joined, but juss so you know there is absolutely NOTHING on there no pics no blogs, juss my name. i dunno, perhaps ill do stuff with it later. hmmm, anything remotely interesting going on in my life you ask? well, yes there is as a matter of fact. this guy i like asked me out (for the second time cuz the first time i was kinda of..out of it- dunt ask) anywayz, so ya, but the catch- i think he wants to double date, watever fine with me, i juss wanna hang out and have a good time. its all good. i think we're going out next week, dunno when. oh yes happy christmas, although i think i already said that in the late entry, oh well. i have new and strange addiction- eye shadow, i dunno, all of a sudden im drawn to the world of makeup, the idea of hiding yourself for fear of showing your true self, being fake, a lie, getting pretty being shallow, conforming to societal expectations even though im at war with society right now. god im being wierd too weird for me even. ah well, my lj and can say watever the fuck i want even if it makes no fucking sense... i have nothing more to say. oh one more thing- the guacamole and salsa at baja fresh is the fucking best. ok that is all.
ps. i got into Humboldt and San Francisco State- go me! and congrats again to ant for getting into sfsu also!
pps. i gots a myspace in case u wanna check it out, its not much but oh well
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Current Music:Gazz: Crawl
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Subject:hives
Time:10:09 pm
Current Mood:giddygiddy
i am starting a new religion, its called hivenism, becuase the hives deserved to be worshipped. they are the best live band ever. EVER. EVER. EVER. I was in the pit, was in the front, but then the mosh started and i ended up in the back of the pit- but its all good- i mean at least i could breathe- and and and pelle waved at me, uh huh, and arson the guitarist stared at me, god im being such a ditz right now but who really gives a fuck cuz i got to fucking meet the hives! gots all five autographs, a hug from dr. matt destruction, a nice smile from chris dangerous, and a pic with pelle....the hives are by the way the nicest fucking band ever, they didnt say no to a single person who asked for an autograph or pic- not a single person, and there must have been bout 30 or more people there. oh ya gots to give a shout out to Gazz, a band that was promoting their cd after the hives concert, they fucking rock check it out:
www.gazzonline.com
jimmy the singer and guitarist is sooo nice and funnny, quite a chatty guy, we keep in contact via email, hope i can see them on jan 8 at the knitting factory...
Happy Christmas! and happy chrismahannakwanzakah! haha..i love fusetv
peace out
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Current Music:H.I.M.: Poison Girl
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Subject:those finns sure know how to put on a show
Time:09:45 pm
Current Mood:happyhappy
H.I.M. concert was fucking awesome. the best. fantastic. orgasmic. lovely. need i say more? i waited bout six hours in line to get in pit- which i did and it was so fucking worth the wait. waiting in line for that long is actually quite interesting, just talked to the people round me, and made friends with a hobo named rex as he told some hobo anecdotes. quite interesting. another crazy ass druck bum took a dump in the gutter behind a trashcan then stood up to scratch his balls...lol ah bums.... i bought these H.I.M. fingerless gloves which i love and i found a heartagram pin near the waterfountain woo hoo! back to the concert- fucking awesome- cant say it enough- its gunna be hard for the hives to beat this concert this coming fri. i didnt meet valo becasue i was soooooo tired after the concert i just went home, i guess waiting 6 hours freezing my ass off took a lot outta me. but im content. oh! gotta give a shout out to Auf de Maur damn those candaians can fucking rock much better that i thought- they were one of the opening acts, the other opening act i think they were monster metal or some shit- god they sucked ass big time,and they were gettin all frustrated at us cuz we werent dancing and shit- they sucked ass though horrible, like some worn out metal band from the eighties, and like for the background of one of their songs they had ya know the powerpoint thingy were it showed like topless women with boobs waaaaaaaaaaaay to big for their bodies shakin their tits- eeeck that was nasty and cheesy. so ya that was my concert experience for H.I.M. in which i am more in love with them than ever after seeing them live... ah, how was everyones thanksgiving break, mine was kinda boring, went to san fran and visited a couple of colleges, like ucsc- which is now my first choice cuz its just a beautiful campus, and sfsu- which was alrite nothing special really. hmmm, christmas is coming up, and i have no clue wat to but pep... i think thats all i really have to say oh ya http://www.heartagram.com/news/ check it out, gotta love metal hah, at the concert, i dont think ive ever seen that many guys with eyeliner all in one place, other than a gay bar- not that ive been to one....haha
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Current Music:Apocalyptica: Bittersweet feat. Lauri & Ville
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Subject:amoeba
Time:09:38 pm
Current Mood:mellowbeautiful song
sup sup... i dont have anything interesting to write in here. well, i am done with college apps- literally, i submited three cal states and two ucs apps today. i got nervous right before i hit submit cuz i was thinkning what if i screwed up or sumthing...god im bored writing this already. ok ill make thsi fast then, marine bio we have a project where everyone is randomly(im so sick of that word thanks to stats) assigned an organism to research, with my luck i got none other than a sea cucumber (sigh) my life cracks me up. thrusday was interesting, not gunna write much bout it in here since it was personal but i will say that i finally went to amoeba in what i thought was the most unexpected way i ever could have imagined. i love amoeba. i love the hot guys that work there. i love their hair too.
looky looky!!! i TOLD YOU THEY WERENT BREAKING UP!!!
"Nov 19, 2004

A Statement from The Vines’ Management

"We are very relieved that Craig has received an unconditional discharge in relation to charges of assault and malicious damage stemming from an incident at the Annandale Hotel in Sydney in May, when he allegedly kicked a photographer’s camera during a gig.

The last six months has been a very trying time for The Vines and those close to them. Craig was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a neurobiological disorder which is a mild form of autism. People with AS are generally considered exceptionally intelligent (and often obsessively focus their attention to music or art), but have difficulty reading social situations and are often accused of being deliberately rude and antisocial. They also have difficulty coping with change and only find security in a familiar routine and environment.

The band has NOT broken up and Craig looks forward to doing what he loves and lives for - getting back to writing and recording music with The Vines. On behalf of Craig and the Vines, thank you to family, friends and fans for their continued support, understanding and compassion."

Winterman & Goldstein management, November 20, 2004"

lol!! that is sooo craig- rude, antisocial, obsessive compulsive...oh god i love craig. he's my hero.
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[icon] Thoughts of a Dying Atheist
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