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[icon] Thoughts of a Dying Atheist
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Current Music:H.I.M.: Sweet Pandemonium..(this song will fuckin roc live!)
Subject:two little monkeys climbing up a tree, one fell off and broke his knee
Time:05:30 pm
Current Mood:chipperchipper
Everybody else concert fucking rocked! of course!! my god carrick is hot (drools) haha not really... oh but the concert was soooo good. since it was outside and we got there like 10 min before it started there wasnt many people, so we were in the front in direct eye contact...and before they started, we were just standing and carrick walked right past me..so close he grazed my shoulder! i was like "hey" and he answered "hey wats up" damn that rocked..im such a ditz at times i swear.... well i thought it was cool! and afterwards.. ant told carrick that they rock...at least i think thats wat she said, and also that she liked his jacket (its a bright neon yellow sweatshirt) cuz clr kept sayin she liked it..it was nice, but his hair was nicer... carrick is fucking skinny- shit..i could swear he looked almost anarexic(sp?) to me at least..but he was still hot...ok my ditzy moment is done... moving on
oh yes after the concert went back to glendale and while clr worked, me and ant protested. it was fun, this one lady passed by and told me "shame" hahaha..i thought that was funny... shame on me for wanting peace!! shame!! we saw the incredibles- fucking hilarious movie!! i highly recommend it! me and ant slept over clrs house..it was interesting.we got like 4 hours of sleep cuz clr's dog, merdock, kept waking us up- me in particular since i was sleeping on the floor. we got up at 7 cuz i needed to go to the aquarium to volunteer and i took clr and ant along, but they only had to pay for one ticket since i gave them one of my comp tickets. they got bored at the aquarium after one hour..haha...ya and ive been working on college apps and a fucking lit essay for the past watever number of days. my internets been fucked up lately so i cant use it from time to time. i am soooooo excited for december you guys have NO idea!! the kroq acoustic christmas sold out in like 3 min- thus i didnt even try to get tickets..but the line up is fucking excellent!! franz, interpol, jimmy, eat world, muse!!!!, the shins!!!!!, omg i cant go on...waaahhhhh...i wish i could go
how is everybody? i dunt get any comments any more..juss curious...wonder if anyone still reads this..lol be sad if no one did...lol..im so pathetic i swear. the person i carpool got a hug from my chemical romance. fuck her. arrrgghhh. ok..ive been in hella good mood lately for like the past week!! surprisingly i know, and yet i should be really stressed- i am but am not.
so if ya wanna talk to me, or ask me something, better do it while im in a good mood or else ill prolly juss ignore if im not..hah how sad. ok i juss blabbing now.. blah blah blah blah blah blah balh balh damn i messed up..hhmmmm. long update. oh ya i found out something disturbing today- little monkeys secretly control our thoughts and rule the world- its only a matter of time before the truth is discovered- then we must rise in unision and rebel!! rebel against the little bastards!! muahahahahahhaha i. am. a. freak.
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Current Music:my mind is bouncing all over the place...
Subject:concerts concerts concerts
Time:10:47 pm
Current Mood:crazycrazy
guess whos going to an Everybody Else concert tomorrow at UCLA- its free baby!! hells ya!!
AND!!!! guess whos going to a fucking H.I.M. concert on December 4 at the wiltern!! me!!! muhahahahahahaha!!! so excited!!!!!!!!!!! I cant wait til december!!! His Infernal Majesty ANDANDANDAND The hives !!!!!!!!!!!
omg!! can this possibly get any better?!?! yes it can!!! imma met them!!!!!!!!!!!! i have too!!! ok, just had to brag...i love my chemical romance...that was random...hmmmm perhaps i should have laid off that chocolate whip cream..but its oh so good and tasty
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Current Music:My chemical romance: Thank you for the Venom
Subject:your running after something that'll you'll never kill
Time:09:50 pm
Current Mood:gloomygloomy
why do people have to be so fucking ignorant and paranoid? why cant we think for ourselves? why cant we believe in ourselves? why do we depend on the media and the president to tell us how to be, what to say, how to act, what to wear, how to look? why do we fear ourselves?

i hear ya bro:

wat the fuck is this?!?! its a step backward in feminism thats wat it is:

"They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself"
~ Andy Warhol
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Current Music:The Servant: Orchestra
Subject:theres an orchestra in me...playing constantly- i even hear it now...
Time:08:28 pm
Current Mood:blahblah
hello everybody! been a while since i actually updated- sorry bout that, been quite stressed and discontent for various reasons. well, lets start at the halloween carnival at school- boring. got some free candy at the end and all these little toys from the french club tho. I was a dark fairy- yes i know sounds cheesy- and it was execpt for my wings- my wings kicked ass! i got lots o compliments about them- not to sound like im bragging (ahem ahem) anyways, lets see that saturday, the day before halloween, didnt do much- but did anyone else feel that earthquake? i know it wasnt just in my head cuz my friend felt it... anywayz, halloween ii had fun. my friend whom i dont really hang out with that often yet have known since kindergarden came over and we spent our last halloween together. We watched the second half of the original exorcist, in which my friend feel asleep and i ended up telling her how it ended..haha..then since both of us were too lazy to change the channel we watched watever the next movie was which turned out to be Halloween, wich was kinda freaky in a psycotic way. but then again it had the seventies stupid ditzy women- who goes outside to do laundry half naked- at night- with a fucked up killer on the lose?!? anywayz, after that we carved pumpkins as it got dark, she carved a cat face on this puny pumpkin, and i carved a regular- yet unique in its own way- pumpkin face and the gaint pumpkin. THen we changed into our costumes. she was a skeleton, her costume might i note was entirely hosery which i thought was hilarious, and she had face paint to make herself look dead. i wore my fairy costume- with my converse since i had a very long reddish skirt- and she insisted on painting my face, so she did. she put white paint so i looked pale, then i had i load of eye shadow and heavy heavy eyeliner alll around my eyes. the red eye shadow extended to the side of my head- the most make up i have ever worn in my entire life- and i looked sexy hot! haha.. nah just kidding, i looked freaking weird but it was cool. so then we proceded to her house to go treat-or- treating, mind you she was the one driving. we stopped by walgreens so she could get a disposibal camara, even thought she has a digital one but wahtever. keep in mind when we walked into walgreens we both had our costumes and makeup on. haha, people stared, and i stared back..lol
trick or treating was fun. gots loads of candy, and this one house the women had the bowl of candy outside and she had two books in the bowl- bout bushism and the republicans- making fun of them of course and she said she was giving them away, so i was like hell ya ill take them! wat made it even funnier was that my friend was for bush- i know surprising i would hang out with someone who supports an asshole, i mean bush...haha, so overall my treasures for that night was candy, books, and one orange. then we were tired so we drove around looking for a haunted house or sumthin, haha, and trick or treating by driving around- we're such dorks.
lets see, monday was a blur, tuesday- ah election day. I worked at my polling place from 6:30 in the morning to 9:30 at night. damn that was the longest day of my life. my job was basically to explain to people how to use the inkavote. nuthin that interesting happend. we had to count the votes afterward. we had 483 regular ballots, 67 provisional ballots, and 22 absentee, not including 3 that were void. arent i nerd?! anyways, yes i have finally accepted that bush is the president. i was surprisinly incredibly upset the next day- more thatn i thought i would be- i kept snapping at my friends- sorry bout that- but i was also extremely exhausted from working at the polls. i dont know, for some reason i have a HORRIBLE feeling htat something terrible is going to happen in the next four years...i dont know if its just me or what, but i feel like it has to do with bush and his presidentcy. i hope im wrong.
rest of the week was a blur, that friday was the 10k walk. quite a nice walk, except i feel i must vent a little by saying that i was walking and minding my own business when SOMEONE behind me decides its funny to throw berries at my head! ya ya laugh all you want but those fuckers hurt surprisingly, i think i know who did it, but i wont say names, that kind of pissed me off but i dunt say nuthin. it was nice exercise tho. this past saturday,er yesterday i took the SAT II for the last fricken time in my entire life yeeessss!!!
i took math level one and writing, dunt ask how i did cuz youll only get an "ehhhh"
today i didnt do much, i should be doing homework and a project for lit rite now, so i think i will start.
oh ya just a side note, unless you want me to screen all your comments or block you or delete your sn from my list(dunt think i wont do it) i suggest ya dunt make any wise ass cracks bout bush being president, im still a bit sensitive about it. ok i go for now.
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Current Music:Muse: Thoughts of a Dying Athiest
Subject:i hear your screams beneath my pillow
Time:11:12 pm
Current Mood:distresseddistressed
"Remember those times, together we swore, never give up this life... Still hanging on, still going strong...
here i belong... and you say im crazy, but i just cant slow down. and maybe im crazy, but at least im still around."
~~~The Rasmus

"the heretic seal beyond divine
a prayer to a god who’s deaf and blind
three little words and a question:
WHY?...Drained by the anger and grief/ Fazed by the envy and greed/ The secret cries for a release/The lucidity hidden deep in sweet pandemonium...Addicted to our divine despair/ The venom of the cross we bear/
The guilt will follow us to DEATH...Heartache is knocking on her door/ Shadows dance outside her window/ TEARS keep falling on the floor/ As the world around her crumbles...If you want to save her/ First you have to save yourself/ If you want to free her from the hurt/ Don’t do it with your pain/ If you want to see her smile again/ Don’t show her you’re afraid/ Because your circle of fear is the same...It’s the circle of regret/ The circle of hate/ The circle of death/ Your circle of fear is the same...Confusion writhes around our hearts impatiently/ It drins the faith that lights the dark and sets us free/ From the chains of our war... The poison of doubt enslaves our minds and we bleed/ We abandon the TRUST that kept us blind and disappear/ Under the crimson wings of HATE/ Where the lost are safe until they love again...The salvation we seek will be waiting us there/ In the heart of darkness lonely and scared/ With a promise of death for our love"

"There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift, that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are bing torn apart. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above water. And i say, see who is in there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves. Gather yourself. Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. We are the ones we've been waiting for."
~~~ Oraibi, Arizona-Hopi Nation
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Current Music:My Chemical Romance: Helena
Subject:make bush dance for your vote!
Time:08:23 pm
Current Mood:blahblah
click here and turn up your speakers...hope it works


not much occuring in the land of mei. juss a shit load of tests and quizzes this week, the halloween carnival for school is this thrusday, not sure what to dress as, juss puttin together an outfit, but not really anything in particular. it took me an hour and 15 min to get home today because of traffic on sunset, thought it was an accident, but turned out that something happened in or near the parking structure of the roxy(ah good times), and there was like 3 fire trucks and 6 or 7 cop cars, looked like some kind of fire or explosion happened- not too big cuz i didnt see nuthin. i should prolly be workin on my marine bio homework and literature homework..damn...hmmm i KNow i had sumthin to write but i completely forgot dammit. i have two a.p. tests this thrusday(bio, and stats)- the day of the halloween carnival thus i will be in my costume taking these tests and obviously thats gunna distract me and i feel as tho im whining now and juss keep talking and wont stop so imma stop now. lol, wow im surprised that made sense upon rereading that. it raining hard, its nice except it makes me juss want to sleep. i wish it were summer.
"we like cookies but we dont like grapes" lol, ah craig rocks my world
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Current Music:H.I.M.: This Fortress of Tears
Time:09:52 pm
Current Mood:okayokay
i got a haircut on saturday, i love it, its shorter and layered- not anything too outrageous or different unfortunately. went costume shopping today with my mother. we went to two goodwills thiftshops(i love looking for stuff in those kind of stores cuz sometimes you find things that you cant get anywhere else and at an unbeatable price!), and we saw this one guy at both stores haha...didnt find anything for a costume, juss junk really, have no clue wat imma be for halloween. i did get this narly skirt thats like light shiny blue with these designs, kinda reminds me of a sauri(that Indain dress) but its not, not sure when i would wear it, but i so would, its floorlength and was 6 bucks. i also got one of those punk ass skirts with like the pleads and the plaid blue and a couple of chain like things, like one of those skirts you would find at hot topic for 40 bucks, except i got the same one for 3 bucks! hell ya! didnt do much else this weekend, nice and relaxing really, exactly wat i needed- even tho since i procastinated so much imma regret it this coming week but wtf, ill get stuff done eventually, i always do, so wats the point in stressing now?
god i cannot get enough of H.I.M., i NEED the CD or i will die! (coughbirthdaycough)
why the fuck cant i view my sat scores yet?!? everyone else has-dammit, "why is it always me?"
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Current Music:Incubus: Warning
Subject:...she knew that her life had passed her by...
Time:06:06 pm
Current Mood:melancholymelancholy
i suggest we, learn to love ourselves, before its, made illegal...
"It has been shown over and over again that people who have poor self-esteem, who are constatnly telling themselves that they are no good,[or too fat, or too ugly], not desserving [or not worthy], or that they are faliures, will actually make those statements come true... Our mind and body are completely connected. It is all inter-related: self-esteem, taking care of yourself, illness. The mind controls the body. Those who give up, those who believe they cannot do anything for themselves, those who feel sorry for themselves, those who are low in self-esteem, really do less well physically... Hostility. People have resentment and hate towards others who have done something wrong to them. It hurts you and if you dont do anything about it, it becomes chronic hate. These emotions act like a boomerang: they will come back to you. You get angry because you want to hurt those that have hurt you in the first place, but you only end up hurting yourself..." ~Chandra Patel
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Current Music:H.I.M. : The Sacrament
Subject:"waiting for the war to end it all...salt in our wounds"
Time:09:18 pm
Current Mood:coldcold
i love the rain, i love the fall, i hate being cold. i just want to curl up in a ball and sleep until i die.
i was going to write something semi important, but i forgot something in which i need to order to write it- dammit...sooo...ya...fuck i juss remembered i have to study for a marine bio test and a bio quiz for tomorrow. hmm...perhaps i should get started. wow, this update was pointless.
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Current Music:My Chemical Romance: I'm not ok (I promise)
Subject:we are a brutal kind
Time:08:40 pm
Current Mood:blankblank
hah, today i found out sumething about Humboldt thats making me have second thoughts. as it turns out its apparently a hippie/ druggie school..lol, i find that hilarious. in one way i think it would kind of interesting and cool to go to a hippie school, but then again, believe it or not i actually want to learn stuff in college, so maybe ucsc is one of my first choices now. ah well.
if you dunt mind i need to vent now: ok first off DONT FUCK WITH MY CAR. metaphorically and literally... you know what i mean. dont play with the windshield wipers WHILE im fucking driving. dont play with the windows to the point where i have push the window lock button. and should you get angry that i did that, for fucks sake dont play with the door lock and then open the door WHILE IM FUCKING DRIVING for the sake of pissing me off! and for fucks sake dont shout out the window to pedestrians "my cat has diareaha!!" its not funny and youll just be making an ass of yourself. oh yeah, dont shed in my car- its fucking disgusting to have to clean up hair while im cleaning my car. and please at least make sure your shoes are fairly clean- ie no mud an leaves and dirty water- because keep in mind that IIIIIII am the one who cleans my car, i put a lot of hard work into maintaining it even tho at times it may not look like. ok, feeling much better now
hmmm..not much else to say
dunt the guy from H.I.M. remind you of jack white? haha, jack white's hot
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[icon] Thoughts of a Dying Atheist
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